For Whom the Bell Tolls (the implosion of your soul)
If you just joined us at Canterbury this semester, the reason everybody cringes between each period is that those bells are not our bells.
The bells that greeted Canterbury students and staff for as long as anyone can remember were destroyed in a circuit fire over the winter break. Their gentle but authoritative tone was scorched into silence on the mysterious green circuit board from whence they came. What you hear now might follow the same tune, but it's comparable to a plastic melodica following a bass clarinet.
"The bell are very long and annoying," remarked one Canterbury student.
Actually, they're just as long as the old bells, but being particularly painful to listen to, they seem to drone on. It's also generous calling them bells -- they're more like tones.
One Canterbury teacher described the sound as a prelude to a flight announcement at an international airport, only instead of indecipherable details in Spanish or German, you're greeted with a symphony of gnashing of teeth by everyone around you.
If anyone can get their hands on some better 1970s school bell technology mounted onto a hefty hunk of green circuit board, please bring it to the chief custodian ASAP!